This week is the last part of our series on raising up your kids to Excel in their Gifts. Check out Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four if you haven’t!
The goal with these articles is to foster a consistent message for students from both school and home. I’ve had some good conversations with a few of you about these tips; I’m so glad they’ve been helpful!
As with last week, for our final week we’re covering three tips, each drawn from the last paragraph of I Corinthians 12:
You are the body of Christ and individually members of it. And God has appointed in the church first apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then miracles, then gifts of healing, helping, administrating, and various kinds of tongues. Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles? Do all possess gifts of healing? Do all speak with tongues? Do all interpret? But earnestly desire the higher gifts.
Tip #7: When you know Jesus, your gifts become spiritual, and you receive spiritual gifts!
For most of this series we’ve been reflecting on parenting our kids in their skills and abilities and what a Christian perspective on that looks like. But a foundational concept to remember as Christians is that there is a spiritual component here as well. When we know the Lord, and his Spirit dwells in us, our skills and abilities are used supernaturally.
There is a really intriguing passage in Exodus 31 in which God is directing Moses in the construction of the tabernacle, and God states that he has filled two particular men, Bezalel and Oholiab, with his Spirit — not to heal or to prophesy or to preach, but to be craftsmen, skilled in woodworking and stone cutting and metallurgy. And God also says that, “I have given to all able men ability, that they may make all that I have commanded you” (31:6). When we truly work “as for the Lord and not for men” (Col 3:23…read more here!), God empowers us with His Spirit to do more than we are able to without him. Are your kids aware of this truth?
In addition to spiritually empowering the use and value of our skills and abilities, Paul also writes that God gives us unique, Spiritual gifts: healing, discernment, tongues, miracles, teaching, and many others. Your children, as followers of Jesus, also have these.
A dear friend of mine, formerly a missionary in Indonesia, once told me that in his early days in Indonesia he was on a beach with a translator, simply talking to folks about Jesus. In one of these conversations, he had a really meaningful conversation with a man, but without his translator, because the man could speak English (or so he thought!). Afterwards, he turned to his translator, thinking it was nice to have been able to finally converse with someone on his own and, wide eyed, his translator told him that their whole conversation had been in Bahasa Indonesian! Many of us have incredible, miraculous stories about spiritual gifts like this in our own lives or in the lives of those we know. Our kids need to know about them – and in so hearing to develop a longing to have the same.
Tip #8: There is power in ‘yet.’
This past month in Middle and Upper School mentoring, students all took “Spiritual Gift Assessments," beginning the process of identifying what gifts God’s Spirit might have bestowed upon each of them. As I reviewed the results with my seventh grade mentor group, the common sentiment was, “Huh. But do I really have this gift? I’m in seventh grade….”
Carol Dweck, psychologist and author of Mindset, talks extensively about the power of the word “yet.” One of the most important tools that allows us to learn is failure. We learn how to walk with an abundance of falling. We learn how to write through critique. We learn how to score by missing a lot of shots. Failure is part of the learning process, but often it’s also the thing that causes us to quit. Unless we add that little word, ‘yet.’ I can’t walk, yet. I can’t write very well, yet. I don’t score a lot of goals, yet.
While Dweck, as far as I am aware, is not a follower of Jesus, the principle holds true. Our students haven’t seen the power of their ability to compassionately serve someone, yet. They might not have heard God’s voice, yet. They might not have witnessed something miraculous, yet. They might not see others blessed by their wisdom or leadership, yet. I think this is part of what Paul means when he says, “but earnestly desire the higher gifts.”
I encourage you to use the word ‘yet’ with your kids as they encounter failure or even as they simply try to sort out what their gifts are. As I discussed with my seventh grade boys, “You each have incredible gifts – just keep following Jesus, keep doing your best, and keep looking for ways to love and serve others. You don’t see how incredible your gifts are, yet, but you will!”
Tip #9: Don’t forget the most important thing.
Finally, and this is the best part, Paul concludes chapter 12 with these words:
And I will show you a still more excellent way.
So foundational to our faith are the following verses in chapter 13 that many of us have memorized them. And that is for a reason: as important and delightful and powerful as our gifts are, they are nothing if we do not love one another. As we encourage our children to serve, to lead, to become wise, to administer, and to teach, let us not forget that if not done for the good of others in the name of Jesus (see Tip #3!), our gifts mean nothing!
—J.T.
